I've been wanting to write about this for a while now, but at the same time been putting it off. Even now I don't know exactly where to start or what to even call this article. I could call it many things:
A Day In the Life
...of a Mom
...of a heart sick Mom
...of praying for a miracle
...of answered prayers
And the list goes on.
Today I was reminded of the hope that I'm clinging to. Not that I really need reminding because I think of it almost daily. I don't necessarily think of the "issue" but of the promise God gave me daily. If I dwell on the "issue" I will be faced with fear, worry, doubt and drive myself nuts! If I dwell on the promise daily I am filled with hope, peace, joy and understanding.
I've recently been seeing this quote EVERYWHERE and wondered why I kept seeing it? I hold as a general rule that when I hear or see something repetitively there is a reason. It's usually something that God is trying to tell me. (You know, because I'm hard headed and need to hear everything a million times some times!) The quote is from Reinhard Bonnke "Fear is the dark room where negative thoughts are developed." Think about that for a second. You know that thing you worry about often? You know how if you dwell on that for too long it's like you've actually stepped into a room? Doesn't that quote make a lot of sense now? The room you step into is fear and from there you begin to actually develop (like film) negative thoughts. From there the "what ifs" occur and the anxiety takes over.
Let's look at the other side though. What happens if you actually choose to focus on Jesus and the promises He's given you for the situation? There's a whole other room for that! A much, much better room. It's called peace. In this room pictures aren't developed, but taken! In this room you capture images of the future and the plans He has for you. The Word says He has plans to prosper you and to give you hope for the future. When you step into peace you begin to see images of this future. Snap shots are taken and are developed in faith. When you are walking in faith you'll begin to see those snap shots that the Lord gave you become reality.
Right now I'm reminding myself of the snap shots gave me for my little boy (Superboy). In January God read my heart and gave me these verses.
Psalm 6:6-9
"I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer."
These verses described exactly how I was feeling. I would find myself crying at night often. No one in the whole world knew, not even my husband. God knew. He heard my cries even when I often felt like He didn't. In my "knower" (as some say) I knew He was there and was with me. I knew it was true, but in those times I was entering the darkroom. Peace gets snuffed out in there and faith is trampled on. When I read His Word the light was turned on and I entered peace. Now I have snap shots of Ian not having seizures and not taking medicine. Snap shots of him playing outside in any temperature and me not being concerned that a seizure could occur. I know that these snap shots aren't just a fairy tale but a reality that is present. I know that the Lord has heard my prayers over the last 3 years and is answering them. I have a peace that I can not describe and it all comes from Him.
If you find yourself worrying about things, turn to Jesus. Open the Bible and begin to read it. He will give you a promise to stand on that will get you out of the darkroom. He'll give you a firm foundation to stand through the storm and strength to move a mountain. You'll begin to see those snap snots revealed to you and soon they'll become living images before you.
